Avoid These Holiday Bloopers!

 To avoid making the holiday blooper list treat these gifts as if they were the equivalent to your Aunts tuna surprise pie – in other words, stay away! 

• Destructive Toys: Sure that water gun that squirts a laser of water sounds cool. But what do you think the kid you’re giving it to is going to do with it? Harass the dog, torture his brother or sister, maybe even ambush the neighbors – it’s a weapon to the kid and that’s why their eyes light up when they unwrap the package; it’s not the holiday season, it’s open season on anything that moves. 

• Exercise/Weight loss themed gifts: Yeah, you’ll be the star of the party when your friend or family member opens up their gift and sees the latest “lose weight fast” exercise CD. Why don’t you just come out and say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you packed on a few so I got this great gift to help you out.” Bad choice and one that will get you banned from future parties. 

• Annoying Toys: That doll that giggled when you squeezed it sounded so cute. Maybe, but not when the parents hear it in their sleep. Also, pet toys that squeal or quack or bark or make any kind of noise should be shunned. Remember, these kinds of gifts elicit revenge fantasies and you’ll be paid back in the end.  

• Gifts you love: This is the gift that you really want but give it to someone else because you think they’ll love it as much as you do. It could be something as subjective as a book or music, or a piece of clothing. Sure, that new book on Dostoevsky’s life is fascinating to you, but your brother doesn’t know Dostoevsky from donuts, so save your money.

The holidays are synonymous with gift giving, which in some cases is tantamount to wasting money. No one really likes to waste money but occasionally when you open a gift and notice it’s The Fabulous Do-Wop’s Greatest Hits or a whoopee cushion, you wonder, why? So be warned, don’t buy the cheap cologne gift set for your seventeen year old nephew; he won’t wear it and he’ll probably avoid eye contact with you next year during the holidays.